tik tok.

woah man i haven't blogged in foreverrrrrrrrr.
sorry.
i really want to get my nose pierced.
i also really want grunge boots.
jalapeno doritos are my new favorite.
the painting will be a challenge, but i can do it.
i want my mango smoothie.
off the shoulder. clipped back.
thinking sideways.
yesterday was the scariest.

i would upload a picture, but i'm too lazy.
and i have to memorize a bajillion lines for theatre tomorrow.
-mdm

Art of Life.

Today was there.
I woke up, had a protein shake, and straightened my hair.
I went to school.
I like my anatomy class, that book would help.
My dress went well with black tights.
Her face was insane.
He wrapped his arms around me, and wouldn't let go.
She actually looked impressed.
He liked it, too. Wowzers.
They were crunchy grapes.
I painted it red.
They all raved about mine. It was gory.
She kept singing 'Switch.'
I bit my necklace.
We talked of our futures.
I want that rainbow hair.
I also want a lizard.
And some other stuff.
I would choose octopus, I would challenge them.
I love his smell.
I cried.
I read.
Now i'm exhausted,
Goodnight, Moon.
and what the heck, Goodnight to all the rest of you.
-mdm

curl up and die.

I've been thinking about college a lot, lately.
Probably because my boyfriend is making his portfolio and writing his essays.
It's weird...leaving everyone that you've been friends with for years, starting off with a blank canvas....it's so scary.
I mean, it's new and fresh and awesome to be making new friends and stuff,
but it's going to be so sad to not have your old friends close by.
Deciding who you are, and what you're going to do with your life...
I don't know, I still have a year and a half left of highschool to worry about.
-------
It's snowing in the middle of October....that's Connecticut for ya.
-mdm

feel like i could just fly.

I really can't wait to see 'Where The Wild Things Are'.

^^i love this.
-mdm

read.

i feel too much.
that's what's going on.
do you think one can feel too much?
or just feel in the wrong ways?
my insides don't match up with my outsides,
do anyone's insides and outsides match up?
i don't know. i'm only me.
maybe that's what a person's personality is;
the difference between the inside and the outside.

**

dodododododo.

multicolored leaves are blowing against my window.
right now.
right this very second.
it's quite windy, if i do say so myself.
and i wore a ripped up hoodie today to keep myself comfy.
and then i stood center stage,
and recited my lines as told.
but i'm adjusting.
we talked, and then we talked.
..............
i'm going mentally insane, if you hadn't realized.

^^ i thought my eyes looked cool.
[WHY IS A RAVEN LIKE A WRITING DESK?]

australia and owls.

sorry for not blogging in a while, i have been quite sick.

now for your feature presentation:

black tights should be worn under shorts sometimes.
fruit and meat can be on pizza at the same time.
but not all the time.
art has no rules. thank the Lord.
i tend to bite my nails at the end of the week.
newspaper butterflies take a while.
waiting sucks. i'm so impatient.
i'm giving up trying to be such a perfectionist-sorta.
i love the shins.
never trust anyone who doesn't like music.
and never, EVER, EVER trust anyone who says they don't like dogs. you meet someone who doesn't like dogs, you alert the authorities IMMEDIATELY.

mgmt <3

fireworks.

Go listen to some Animal Collective, kids.
Go experience life.

A Little Survey Thing:
MY FAVORITE:
Color- maroon.
Food- veggie burgers.
Drink-coffee. black coffee.
Animal- bats and wolves.
Number- 3
Season- autumn.
Band- tbs.
Movie- alice in wonderland. obviously.
TV Show- icarly & seinfeld.
Book- chuck palahniuk.
Candy- candy corn
Cookie- oatmeal raisin.
Holiday- halloweeeeeeeeen.
What are your favorite things?
-mdm

blueberry bagels.

i didn't really feel like blogging today,
but then i decided i would anyway.
i changed my favorite color to maroon.
hi.

^^tis me.
-mdm

put the lime in the coke, you nut.

It started off with an oatmeal sweater, a poptart, and some crazy men taking my picture.
Then the four of us talked about thai food and ugly flowers.
We pressed our faces against the glass and he saw us.
His eyes were red, It was creepy.
Cinnamon Nature Valley.
We sat by the garage door.
Look good.
I could tie a knot with a cherry stem.
He thought it was hot.
He wrapped his arms around my waist.
He stuck his hands in my pockets.
We tea-stained with guts. The wind blew my hair.
I think he realized.
I chose the gray one, unlike the rest.
I pumped up the volume.
We were artists, and dreamers of dreams.
‘story of my life’
I like my busdriver.
Oreos with pb <3
I bought some Iron Man pencils, and some new shoes.
He's already thinking of prom.
Yay for homework.
-mdm

new again.

change.
what a weird thing.
it can be great, but can also scare the living crap out of you.
and this year is full of it.
this is the year i need to find myself the most,
in order to choose what i shall do for the rest of my life.
and i have no clue what i'm doing.
i need to stop trying to be the best, and start being my best,
because that has seemed to drop my self esteem some.
but it will refuel.
i will just live my life, and everything will be okay.
all i need is some cardboard and some gluesticks.............
-mdm

cardigans and eggrolls.

Today is Friday.
I ate goldfish crackers and m&ms for breakfast.
I went to school.
I thought about you.
The rain made me feel comfortable,
but the emptiness was there.
My teacher and I had the same style.
I sucked at it.
I took a nap, and went through a daze.
I'm still thinking about you.
Maybe i'll go watch my brain swell.
I haven't blogged in forever.

Highschool judges more than anything.
-mdm

hup hup.

There are two ways of writing a really great poem:
-Find your deepest wound and rip it's scab off.
-Let your blood be your ink.

On Saturday, I saw Taking Back Sunday (my favorite band!), Weezer, & Blink 182.
I was literally 3 feet away from them, since I had pit tickets.
It was probably one of the greatest experiences of my life.
-mdm

tunics, books, twizzlers, & tears.

sometimes, i like change.
but not right now.

----------------------------
it astounds me that school starts next week...
this is the year that really matters.

^^i did this in honor of my favoritest movie.
-mdm

Crying Wolf

You never believed what i had to say
Just too hard for you to convey
You wore your judgement free and loose,
Getting your morals from mother goose.

I let the hurt out more and more,
Senseless knocking at my door
With twisted hair and twisted veins,
Rusted tears and window panes.

You'll never know the itch of sting,
You'll never know the pain you bring.
Scars from years of mind abuse,
'Ask a pharmacist before use.'

Do not take more than is directed,
Just enough to feel connected.
The quantity taken, an overdose
I can feel it now, I'm getting close.

It was fun this time, this game of trust.
But now all that has turned to dust.
Taking more than you allow,
Maybe you will listen, now.

you're so naive, you're so.

People look at others through rinsed over eyes, to see only the things that please their minds. But when you really get to know that person, they don't seem as wonderful as you imagined.
So then you think how great it is to be yourself, and how you are wonderful indeed.
But what, may I ask, happens when you don't like yourself one bit?


^^
On Sunday, my best friend and I stood on the side of a state highway with a "Honk For Peace" sign. I felt like we made a difference.
-mdm

black licorice.

sometimes i wish i was invisible,
and sometimes i wish i was not.
sometimes i love the way i am,
and sometimes i hate every little thing about myself.
but one thing that is definite...
is that i will never care about what people think of me.
never.
and you can't change that.
-mdm

i found this. it spoke to me. i like it.

the tide.

live the moment.
trust me on this one, guys.
live the moment.

potatos and glow sticks.

this weekend was interesting:
-the haunted mansion juice was excellent.
-her layers were sick.
-i wanted that whole store.
-i finally got to be in his arms.
-my new addictions are thai food & arizona.
-that smoothie was awful.
-his hair......hah.
-i was supposed to cherish it. whoops.
-bad fireworks music, bad.
-that lady wanted dots...and i wouldn't give them to her.
-it upsets me that everyone keeps leaving. especially her.
-birch. beer. and bandannas.
-i was a rebel.
-we danced and ate the whole bag.
-the gutter man liked the australian.
-i saw the scars.
-he held my tote.
-he called her the prettiest. us others felt weird and humored.
-i was scared in the haunted ride.
-all she would eat were those bananas.
-herm didn't leave. & then we watched the cows chip on the shocker field.
-i guess i'm a health nut.
-he wanted to pet the bunny.
-we jumped with the carni.
-they called me a hippie.
-we are going to own a pink cow farm. then we can have all the strawberry milk we want.

i need to edit my life. then again, maybe i don't. maybe i just need to live it.

woop.

we're only human.
and humans change.
humans mold and form themselves into their surroundings and interests.
it's what humans do.

and i think humans expect too much from other humans.
-mdm

did i tell you that i'm actually a werewolf?

it's scary to think about the rest of your life.
i don't like it.

man, i love new inspirations.
-mdm

a memoir of the weekend.

we sat in the trunk.
the yogurt was not the right way.
i had to wear his sock.
it was exactilly 5 minutes.
the upper level is better than a fast food booth.
we skipped and sang MJ.
i like strawberry the best.
that list should have been of what's great.
too many pieces.
the humidity was awful.
he suggested his son.
old memories were brought back.
shakespeare and seuss.
she was pretty chill.
i was leaving.
i dyed.
we rolled around.
there was a battle of the mixes.
yeah. man.
it was exactilly 50 minutes.
i danced, once again.
i miss him.

i think i will play the role of a poet, now.
-mdm

ignorance is your new best friend.

i hate it when people don't take me for who i am.
i can't help how i react to things,
and i'm still finding myself.
and oh, believe me, i'm not changing for anyone.

well that was a little nasty.
sorry for my rudeness.
-mdm

^^i found this and thought it was pretty rad.
i also decided to change the name again after an amazing song. wow, is my mind schitzophrenic or what?

make room.

I've never really talked about my blog before. I've seen other people talk about their blogs and the purpose of it, etc. But when I made my blog, I had no idea what it would be like. It was just a way to express my views and experiences. Now here's the thing; when I started my blog, I decided to call it "Bloggin," cause hey, that's what I was doing. But now that I am comfortable with it, I decided to change the name. I am stripping down my mind and posting it, and that is why I called it "Skimmed Down."
I also plan to blog more, since I only release a portion of my thoughts.
And I would also like to thank my followers, especially Tee Tee, who started my blog off.

I felt like this post was needed. Boring maybe, but needed.
-mdm.

hospital beds and potassium needles.

why do i always screw everything up?
i swear...someday i will just stop thinking.
then maybe i wouldn't be such an inconvenience in everyone's life.
-mdm

^^ i love him.

anymore.

have you ever listened to Emmy Rossum? well my friend, she is quite amazing.
a couple of days ago, i played the last song on her album, (since i had not yet listened to it,) and fell in love with it. it is by far her best song on the CD.
well, that song inspired me to paint.
i listened to the song over and over again, as i painted the feelings that the song gave me. it inspired me to make something more.
when i was finally finished, i was covered in dark coal, maroon, and bone paint.
i felt significant.
i looked upon my easel, realizing that i was kind of in a daze while i was painting...my hands had worked without any instruction; the music taking over my soul.
it's a funny feeling when something like that happens, especially because you don't realize what you are capable of. it's really quite something.
it's like: you're more than that.

this isn't the picture i painted, but i sketched this with ink one day during class.

bad apples.

i know this girl, i know her quite well actually.

she was beautiful and graceful, and had creativity running through her veins. she could laugh at anything, and could write like she was breathing. she would draw for hours upon end, coming up with a masterpiece and thinking it was awful. she would dance with all of her soul, and would hate herself for 'not being good enough.' she could act and sing and take such pictures, and people would tell her how great she was at what she did. but she wouldn't listen.

she would compare herself, she would hate herself. she would pick out her flaws. even though she knew she had some talent, she hated how she was never good enough.

but then, a few days ago, i watched as she thought, and realized.
who is she trying to be 'good enough' for?
i watched as she starting having faith in herself, and started to not care what others would think of her. yes, she was still lost on who she was some of the time, but at least now she realized how great of a person she is. i watched, and felt overjoyed by seeing her finally love herself. change--for the better.

and it was a miraculous change, if i do say so myself.

my wisdom teeth hurt.
-mdm

lost art of murder.

You know that saying, "You are who create yourself to be"?
Well, I used to think it was complete nonsense...until recently.

I thought it was just an excuse to be 'fake' and jumble a bunch of different things together to create someone who wasn't you. You, my friend, are a unique individual. You have your talents and quirks and likes and dislikes, but by copying other people and by "creating yourself" you are not who you were meant to be. That is why I used to hate that saying.
Lately, though, I've been reading through philosophies on life, and seeing how different people viewed the world--it amazes me how people live and think. But then I had come upon an amazing theory: The French Fry Philosophy. It told how everyone has talents, and unique traits about themselves, but you should use them to make a difference in the world. Like McDonalds, everyone likes their french fries; and by having the ability to make them, they made a name for themself. One example was a college student who was an excellent swimmer. She was just great at what she did, and she inspired people.

So now I fully understand that saying, "You are who you create yourself to be." Just dream big, try your hardest at what you do, and live your life. Don't go looking for praise, because it will just stop you in your tracks. Have faith, and maybe your talents will create yourself into making a difference.
-mdm

lucky.

i think i'll make a list:
i am lucky for:
-my hair that blows in the wind.
-my amazing friends.
-summer nights with the people i love.
-growing up in such a cultured family.
-the passing of smiles and laughs.
-the sunshine on my skin.
-that veggie-eggwhite flatbread i ate for lunch today.
-music that just goes with summertime.
-purple tee shirts.
-overgrown bangs that actually look good.
-white hot chocolate.
-the smell of salt in my hair.
-late-night ice cream runs with my dad.
-hammocks.
-the love i have for my boyfriend.
-my driveway. don't ask.
-my creativity.
-hoodies.
-my mom's cooking.
-sooooooooo much more.

those are just some little things that have come forth yesterday and today.
i'm pretty lucky, if i do say myself.
what are the little things that you are lucky for?
-mdm

dry-erase boards.

Don't it always seem to go,
That you don't know what you got till it's gone?


Yesterday, I sat outside of my church on a swing, waiting for my parents to get out of a meeting.
The sun was setting, and i was all alone with the world.
I turned on some t-swift, and let the sun soak into my skin.
My waves were flying everywhere.
Then I just stopped,
-And I just cried.
and cried and cried and cried.
Tears of happiness, sadness, confusion,
but it made sense.
...It all made sense.
-mdm

body shock.

My eyes scream your presence,
My lips are stained with want.
My veins have run dry-
pumping this emptiness for some time.
they're twisting around my bones like leeches,
draining up the reality that you are gone.

My distracted skull is chipping,
cracking from this withdrawl
splinters of bone raining on my covered mind-
brains wrapped with sticky notes,
the only thing i have left of you.
but the glue is dying off,
and revealing the reality.

my shaking fingers can't even grasp this-
this knowledge that you're not here.
the brittleness is ticking,
singing me to sleep.
in my dreams is you, and only you.
until the moments when i awake;
it keeps me from reality.

my throat is sore from the validity,
burned from the vacancy that fills up my lungs.
the oxygen can't even reach them,
vocal cords clogged with bitterness.
the bad taste in my mouth stings,
just another reminder of reality.

then i feel your skin around mine,
the warmth overcomes me.
my blood rushes to my head
and i let go of my bruised thoughts.
you are here now, you are here
and i like this reality.
-mdm

higher now.

live for the moments you can't put into words.


the vacation was nice.
-mdm.

ayyayyyyy.

what if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?!

not mine either.

all over the new sheets.

so i just cooked myself some pasta.
and i've been realizing sooo many things about myself, and life lately.
i've fallen.
and it's the best thing ever.
ewvfrth46u77yyy5ttv3g56bvu7bv7jb76hgfdwc44b5y
there's so much i can say about that.
love is a wonderful thing.
i am also appreciating myself now,
just livin' it up, ya knowwww?
but i think i'll leave it here.
keep it fresh.
-mdm

not my picture.

pain.

I've got a message to the universe.
I've got a message to the world.
I've got a message for every boy and girl.
The colors of the rainbow.
Fading out your face
Change
Willows blooming from the ground
Top soiled by our pain
Pain.

i wish that i was able to give blood.
stupid blood disease.
-mdm

the greatest lie.

i haven't blogged in a while.
those magazine clippings were sick.
she was starry night.
nobody's really there.
my boyfriend is the sweetest.
raisins.
polar bears and flamingos and billy joel.
fricka fricka fried dough tonight.
expect the unexpected.
..confused?
-mdm

peek-a-boo.

i was told to paint with my heart,
but how could i?
how can i paint a tableaux of destruction that springs in my mind?
a wolf eating her young,
worms twisting in the earth under moonlight,
the cruelty.
how can i paint the baby bird taking flight only to drown in a puddle an inch deep under the nest,
to be knawed on by vermin until there were bits of feathers and bones left?
how can i express what is hidden there?
how can i paint the darkness?
-mdm

dream on.

man, it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has.

if it disturbs you, it's art.

we are real people. living real lives.

how can a whisper be so loud?

-mdm

close your eyes and make believe.

sometimes i like to be a rocket:

-mdm

carve your heart out yourself.

i swear, that kid was right.
i need to let my guard down a little bit more,
so i let the art fill me up.
-mdm

hero.

It's the little things that make us who we are in the bigger world.

Pokemon and vegetarian cookbooks littered my Saturday.
so did 3 cups of coffee, and miles to go.
RIP Matt.
-mdm

everything, everyone is going mental.

i was on the bus today, on my way home.
i was listening to dashboard confessional.
(that piece of info is needed to set the scene.)
and i realized something.
i was observing people, as i usually do,
and i started thinking how everyone is different,
but everyone is a person.
we all are human beings.
no one should judge one another, because we ourselves could be judged as well.
yes, we all have our little habits and quirks,
but no one should be judged for them.
there is so much more i could say,
but i'm confusing myself.
i need to clean my room.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ASSIGNS MEANING TO THE SELECTIONS.
i'm making no sense.
hopes this reaches out to you guys.
-mdm

forever & always.

sometimes reality seems so fake.
-mdm

what makes you feel better.

I simultaneously defy and enforce physics. I'm the mumbling in your head while you're crunching the numbers. I'm the apparition, tick, gut wrenching, suspicion and glee too. I'm the reason you rolled a nineteen for charisma, the cat's meow, your least favorite aunt. Touch me and i'll touch you. Watch me and I'll watch you. You once tried to call me and the line was busy, but that was actually just me making busy signal noises with my mouth. If you would have called back I would have cooked you some pasta. What you're looking for right now is going to evade you forever. Fish don't speak but squirrels do. It all depends on your longitude. You should start from the beginning, but ignore the prequels. I like minimalism, broken robots, granny smith apples, sneakers and the mundane. I like make believe vampires but the real ones scare me. I don't care too much for your boss and the fact that you're starting to resemble her. You should work on that. You'll find me to be very reasonable if you'd just give me a chance. You can paint me by numbers. You can tell me to your shrink. You can consume me up to three times daily but you shouldn't ever exceed twelve doses in a four day period, unless you have a note from your mother. I definitely detest mom jokes. Seriously. I don't need to be reminded of what I resemble. I usually involve a variety of livestock running rampantly around. I think sideways motorcycle helmets are all the rage now that sideways trucker's hats are out. I am a live, fleshy human being attempting to recreate sounds in real life. I speak in binary code. I strive for muzak and custom made slip n' slides. I play for keeps. My grass is always greenest. My hair is unkempt.

i'm learning a lot about myself through this experience.
-mdm

this is a social scene anyway.

Everyone's a let down,
It just depends on how far down they can go.

to be my bait.

okay, i admit it. i really do. alot. like, alot alot.
prom was the most amazing night ever.
-mdm

i hope my 11:11 wish comes true.

nobody's real.

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting you hearts longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from God's presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon , Yes! It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children. It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in empty moments.

-mdm

back and forth.

i need to stop looking towards influences to find out who i am.
i need to look towards myself.
-mdm

you be the cat and i'll be the mouse.

I...

-am bipolar.
-am finally learning that i cannot trust anyone.
-need to stop biting my nails.
- am excited for prom friday.
-am wearing unmatching socks as usual.
-am super scared for college...even though it's 2 years away.
-need a good talk with my mommy.
-am way overdue for a good room cleaning.
-need to hangup my portrait.
-don't care what people think of me anymore.
-also don't know who i am.
-need a good shopping spree.
-am maybe starting to think of him that way?
-think way too much.
-mdm

i'm not going cause i've been waiting for a miracle.

a list of my goals i want to accomplish before i die:
1. own a dance studio.
2. own an organic health food store.
3. write a novel.
4. become an art teacher.
5. get a lead in the musical.
6. sing for a band. (work in progress)
7. become a good runner.
8. get tan.
9. become that person.
10. be in a movie.
11. graduate highschool with honors.
12. go to lots of shows.
13. fall in love, obviously.
14. live by the ocean.
15. live my life to the fullest.
16. do as much as possible.
17. stay healthy.
18. be happy.

he was born a pauper to a pawn.

yesterday.
a simple accident caused that guy to jump.
i stopped.
running around goodwill is fun.
i felt bad for the lonely one all alone in his cage.
they both came to my art class.
my hair was okay.
it was definetly a perfect toucan.
i didn't eat the fast food at 11pm.
i swear if those melonheads scare me one more time...
we didn't get a picture of shia.
he called her beautiful.
i was told to go to art school.
he still hates me.

boo berries and cherry coke is a nutritious lunch, dontcha think?
-mdm

coo coo cachoo.

i just freaking beg of you to give a straightforward answer for once.
also, thinking of dying my hair red.
-mdm

^^i took that.
and many, many others.