ignorance is your new best friend.

i hate it when people don't take me for who i am.
i can't help how i react to things,
and i'm still finding myself.
and oh, believe me, i'm not changing for anyone.

well that was a little nasty.
sorry for my rudeness.
-mdm

^^i found this and thought it was pretty rad.
i also decided to change the name again after an amazing song. wow, is my mind schitzophrenic or what?

make room.

I've never really talked about my blog before. I've seen other people talk about their blogs and the purpose of it, etc. But when I made my blog, I had no idea what it would be like. It was just a way to express my views and experiences. Now here's the thing; when I started my blog, I decided to call it "Bloggin," cause hey, that's what I was doing. But now that I am comfortable with it, I decided to change the name. I am stripping down my mind and posting it, and that is why I called it "Skimmed Down."
I also plan to blog more, since I only release a portion of my thoughts.
And I would also like to thank my followers, especially Tee Tee, who started my blog off.

I felt like this post was needed. Boring maybe, but needed.
-mdm.

hospital beds and potassium needles.

why do i always screw everything up?
i swear...someday i will just stop thinking.
then maybe i wouldn't be such an inconvenience in everyone's life.
-mdm

^^ i love him.

anymore.

have you ever listened to Emmy Rossum? well my friend, she is quite amazing.
a couple of days ago, i played the last song on her album, (since i had not yet listened to it,) and fell in love with it. it is by far her best song on the CD.
well, that song inspired me to paint.
i listened to the song over and over again, as i painted the feelings that the song gave me. it inspired me to make something more.
when i was finally finished, i was covered in dark coal, maroon, and bone paint.
i felt significant.
i looked upon my easel, realizing that i was kind of in a daze while i was painting...my hands had worked without any instruction; the music taking over my soul.
it's a funny feeling when something like that happens, especially because you don't realize what you are capable of. it's really quite something.
it's like: you're more than that.

this isn't the picture i painted, but i sketched this with ink one day during class.

bad apples.

i know this girl, i know her quite well actually.

she was beautiful and graceful, and had creativity running through her veins. she could laugh at anything, and could write like she was breathing. she would draw for hours upon end, coming up with a masterpiece and thinking it was awful. she would dance with all of her soul, and would hate herself for 'not being good enough.' she could act and sing and take such pictures, and people would tell her how great she was at what she did. but she wouldn't listen.

she would compare herself, she would hate herself. she would pick out her flaws. even though she knew she had some talent, she hated how she was never good enough.

but then, a few days ago, i watched as she thought, and realized.
who is she trying to be 'good enough' for?
i watched as she starting having faith in herself, and started to not care what others would think of her. yes, she was still lost on who she was some of the time, but at least now she realized how great of a person she is. i watched, and felt overjoyed by seeing her finally love herself. change--for the better.

and it was a miraculous change, if i do say so myself.

my wisdom teeth hurt.
-mdm

lost art of murder.

You know that saying, "You are who create yourself to be"?
Well, I used to think it was complete nonsense...until recently.

I thought it was just an excuse to be 'fake' and jumble a bunch of different things together to create someone who wasn't you. You, my friend, are a unique individual. You have your talents and quirks and likes and dislikes, but by copying other people and by "creating yourself" you are not who you were meant to be. That is why I used to hate that saying.
Lately, though, I've been reading through philosophies on life, and seeing how different people viewed the world--it amazes me how people live and think. But then I had come upon an amazing theory: The French Fry Philosophy. It told how everyone has talents, and unique traits about themselves, but you should use them to make a difference in the world. Like McDonalds, everyone likes their french fries; and by having the ability to make them, they made a name for themself. One example was a college student who was an excellent swimmer. She was just great at what she did, and she inspired people.

So now I fully understand that saying, "You are who you create yourself to be." Just dream big, try your hardest at what you do, and live your life. Don't go looking for praise, because it will just stop you in your tracks. Have faith, and maybe your talents will create yourself into making a difference.
-mdm

lucky.

i think i'll make a list:
i am lucky for:
-my hair that blows in the wind.
-my amazing friends.
-summer nights with the people i love.
-growing up in such a cultured family.
-the passing of smiles and laughs.
-the sunshine on my skin.
-that veggie-eggwhite flatbread i ate for lunch today.
-music that just goes with summertime.
-purple tee shirts.
-overgrown bangs that actually look good.
-white hot chocolate.
-the smell of salt in my hair.
-late-night ice cream runs with my dad.
-hammocks.
-the love i have for my boyfriend.
-my driveway. don't ask.
-my creativity.
-hoodies.
-my mom's cooking.
-sooooooooo much more.

those are just some little things that have come forth yesterday and today.
i'm pretty lucky, if i do say myself.
what are the little things that you are lucky for?
-mdm

dry-erase boards.

Don't it always seem to go,
That you don't know what you got till it's gone?


Yesterday, I sat outside of my church on a swing, waiting for my parents to get out of a meeting.
The sun was setting, and i was all alone with the world.
I turned on some t-swift, and let the sun soak into my skin.
My waves were flying everywhere.
Then I just stopped,
-And I just cried.
and cried and cried and cried.
Tears of happiness, sadness, confusion,
but it made sense.
...It all made sense.
-mdm

body shock.

My eyes scream your presence,
My lips are stained with want.
My veins have run dry-
pumping this emptiness for some time.
they're twisting around my bones like leeches,
draining up the reality that you are gone.

My distracted skull is chipping,
cracking from this withdrawl
splinters of bone raining on my covered mind-
brains wrapped with sticky notes,
the only thing i have left of you.
but the glue is dying off,
and revealing the reality.

my shaking fingers can't even grasp this-
this knowledge that you're not here.
the brittleness is ticking,
singing me to sleep.
in my dreams is you, and only you.
until the moments when i awake;
it keeps me from reality.

my throat is sore from the validity,
burned from the vacancy that fills up my lungs.
the oxygen can't even reach them,
vocal cords clogged with bitterness.
the bad taste in my mouth stings,
just another reminder of reality.

then i feel your skin around mine,
the warmth overcomes me.
my blood rushes to my head
and i let go of my bruised thoughts.
you are here now, you are here
and i like this reality.
-mdm

higher now.

live for the moments you can't put into words.


the vacation was nice.
-mdm.